Celebrity Garbage

What new fiasco has Brittany Spears gotten herself into? Is Charlie Sheen going to Jail?  Did Heather Locklear get arrested for DUI? What about Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, and Harrison Ford; what have they been up to? And OMG did you hear about Marion Jones? Did Gary Coleman really get arrested on a domestic violence charge? Of course I have to mention Kiefer Southerland? What new trouble has he gotten himself into this week? If I mention all those, I guess I better ask about O.J. Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Mary Delgado, Ryan O’Neil, Nick Nolte, and Michelle Rodriguez. Let’s see… did I leave anyone out? Yea; hundreds! But who cares?

Well I guess millions of people do. Apparently our desire to dissect the sordid (or not) lives of celebrities knows few bounds. We revel in the ability to put them on a slide, pop a cover slip down and scope out the tiniest details of their lives. Of course many celebrities make it easy with their “I can do anything” attitudes. Then there are many who require a little more effort on our part to ferret out that molehill so we can turn it into a mountain. Some of us hide in the bushes and wait for that unguarded photo, some of us dig through trash, and I am certain that some of us resort to even less savory methods to secure that small tidbit of dirt. Ever hear the song, “Dirty Laundry” by Don Henley? I wonder where the inspiration for that song came from.

My whole point here is that I don’t want to know about these people. Don’t get me wrong. I love to be entertained as much as the next guy. When I see Bruce Willis play the hero in a movie I cheer him on the whole way just like everybody else. And when the movie is over I eagerly await the next. I also get to place that character on my hero list. It’s kind of a fantasy list of people the way I would like them to be, but maybe not the way they really are. But when I come across a news story that they beat their wife or kids, or were drunk driving, or doing some other unsavory thing, that fantasy becomes tarnished. I don’t want my fantasies to become tarnished. By the way, as far as I know Bruce Willis has done none of those things I just mentioned. God forbid that I add to the rumor mill. In fact, the reason I used Mr. Willis as an example is because I haven’t seen or heard about any foul-play in which he was involved. Which means that my illusions about the characters he has portrayed, and about the man himself, remain unsullied?

So what is it that makes us want to pry into the private lives of celebrities? Why do we feel a “need” to know? Obviously these people are good at what they do or they wouldn’t be working. That, I feel, is worthy of respect, but I think it should end there. The guy who remodeled my home did a fantastic job and I admire his skill, but I’m not going to follow the guy home and rifle through his trash. Of course I may hire him again or keep his card and throw a few referrals his way. Hell, I might even invite him to a barbeque, but I don’t need to know if he’s having an affair or cheating on his taxes. That’s between him, his wife (if he has one) and the IRS. It’s not my business. The only determination I need to make is how well the guy did his job.

It’s the same with celebrities. We don’t need to stalk them as they go about their daily lives, hoping for an unguarded moment. Many celebrities give us plenty of news with their antics anyway. Why do we need to hound those who are just trying to get through their lives with as little friction as possible just like the rest of us? So what if they turn out to be human with problems just like me and you. Pay attention to your own lives instead of trying to bring down those you consider as the “high and mighty.” Most of them are people just like us who lucked into a job that made them wealthy and famous. I imagine that a good percentage of them didn’t realize what they were getting into and now spend a great deal of time, effort, and money just trying to get a little privacy and normalcy back into their lives.

For Pete’s sake, let them have it!